Active listening
Hearing vs listening
Hearing is passive – you can hear without really listening and taking in information
Active listening requires engagement and processing of information – it needs effort
Tiredness, distractions, accents, and disinterest all affect us absorbing information. Good listening enables other people to feel at ease, trust the listener and express what they want to communicate more easily.
Importance of listening
Listening may be more important than speaking at the beginning of your university career.
What mistakes do you think people generally make with listening?
- Talking too much?
- Not asking enough questions?
- Asking too many questions?
- Not demonstrating that they’re listening?
Asking questions is a valuable skill, and you will need to ask the right questions until you have all the necessary information, which will enable you to deliver exactly what is being asked for. Not doing this leads to making mistakes.
During a conversation, how often do you…
- Maintain eye contact with the other person?
- Ask questions to ensure you have understood?
- Wait until the other person has stopped talking before thinking about what to say next?
- Interrupt the other person because they are speaking for too long? (May not be a good idea!)
- Summarise what the other person has been saying before they have finished? (May not be a good idea!)
- Think about your facial expressions?
- Ensure seating/standing arrangement is appropriate?
Showing that you are listening
How can you show someone that you are listening?
- Firstly, really concentrate on what the other person is saying
- Use body language, e.g. nodding
- Non-word cues, e.g. “a-ha”
- Don’t interrupt
- Feedback: “Can I check that I’ve understood you correctly?”, “So, I hear that…”
- Clarify details (particularly in a business transaction)
Also, think about…
Is there an ‘underlying message’ to what someone is saying? (e.g. saying “I’m fine” but looking upset, or saying they agree with you, but they don’t seem too happy about it.)
Silence is not always awkward
- Gives people space to think, reflect, develop ideas…
- Signals someone has finished speaking
- Gives opportunities for others to contribute
- Can enable non-verbal communication to happen